Jonathan Goofs Off

This is a non-canonical campaign set within Draionmere run by Jwes8. It is his first attempt at being a dungeon master, and largely created as his means of rectifying things he hated about games run by Zanghardraconis for example, every hallway will be inexplicably lit by torches.

Player Characters:



The Adventure

The twin brothers Derouth and Menath find themselves inexplicably placed in front of a monastery. They do not know why, but they are compelled to go in. Once inside they meet a man named Tom, who sends them down into the basement to kill slimy mutated Kobolds. Tom hints that the goo secreted by the kobolds is weakly acidic. The twins then put on extra robes and cover their faces with mud for protection, and head into the basement.

After killing ten of the creatures, they encounter Jim, who had apparently wandered into the basement to escape from the horrible food at the monastery. He defeats Menath, but Derouth taunts him into following him up the stairs (How does it feel to fuck a Kobold you bastard!). There Derouth receives assistance from Tom (and Jeff the armless legless stump of a man whom Tom routinely abuses. He is being pushed in a wheelbarrow.)

Thus done with their quest, the brothers realize that they are in northern Krec. They reach a decision: Tom is a douche bag. So they decide to leave, heading north, then north-west towards Liscont and then the Edaspine.

The journey is mostly peaceful. The two encounter a pair of travelers from Abofastios, and seeing how they were alone on the road attack them. The twins easily slaughter the travelers. The only other event was when the two were attacked in the night be Krecian extremists, who were handily beaten.

The two reach a town in Liscont the next day, which goes by the name of “Car”. There they find an inn called “An Inn” and rest. For the next few days the two make some money from Derouth’s performances on the violin, living out of an abandoned house. It seems that numerous people had gone missing in Car over the past few weeks, and that the guard was too lazy to investigate.

The twins decide to go to the woods nearby Car and investigate, finding a group of lizard creatures (NOT Kobolds). They attack and defeat the creatures, only to hear more in the distance. The twins climb a nearby tree to escape.

After a nights rest, the two return to the woods to hunt down the creatures. While searching for their lair, they encounter a group in the distance. Knowing that the group would soon be upon them, Derouth places a bold arcane mark upon a nearby tree, then proceeds to climb it. Menath follows. The creatures come to investigate the mark on the tree, which is when Derouth casts “Enlarge Person” on his brother, who then plummets onto all four of them, crushing two of them instantly. The other two quickly succumb to Menath’s axe.

Jonathan Goofs Off

Draionmere ZangharDraconis